The civilization of Ancient Egypt produced some of the more spectacular technological advances of the ancient world. The timeless, indestructible pyramids have captured the human imagination for centuries, and hordes of Egyptian chariots dominated battlefields across the Fertile Crescent with their destructive power. A few of their innovations were eminently practical. Few people realize, for instance, that we can thank the Egyptians for the first example of using paper for bathroom purposes.

Most people know that the Egyptians developed the first workable paper from dried sheets of the papyrus plant. It was primarily used as a medium for writing. Like so many inventions, toilet paper came about by a happy accident. Recently, a team of The History Bluff cryptanalysts, working on a piece of untranslated hieroglyphic writing, were shocked to discover that it contained the observations of a member of the court of Thutmose III on a fateful day in 1454 BC. Apparently, a royal engineer had just submitted a new weapon design to Pharaoh. The concept (a chariot drawn by camels) was ridiculous to everyone but the engineer himself. The following passage has been loosely translated directly from the original manuscript.

When the laughter in the court had subsided, Pharaoh took the design from
[the engineer], and considered what to do with it. An idea seemed to occur
to him. In full view of all present, he folded [the papyrus] twice and
placed it near his [bottom]. A quick motion followed, and the laughter
resumed as [the engineer] fled the room in humiliation. Soon, however, all
eyes were focused on [Thutmose], for an expression of utmost contentment and
serenity had consumed his features, to the wonderment of all present.

Thus, toilet paper was introduced into the world. It quickly became all the rage among the Egyptian upper classes, though it proved too expensive for the common worker. The concept of toilet paper for the masses would originate in China, as well as the concepts of “double-ply” and “the roll.”