Some time around 1000BC the teenage girls of Greece lost all self-control. Mothers and fathers could not control their daughters actions; they were being driven by the pulsating rhythm of the music that came from the lyre of the greatest cultural phenomenon to ever affect music. The baby-faced, twenty-year-old heart-throb named Apollo was a hip-shaking musical prodigy like no one had ever seen before. Civilization would not meet such a influential musician again until the ancient version of Ray Charles, Homer, would lay down some tracks of his own around 850BC.

Good looking and talented, Apollo was a parenting nightmare for those with daughters.

Apollo’s birthplace is unknown as is the origins of his musical journey. Few details of his real-life experiences have survived; his cult-like following earned him supernatural powers, eventually placing him into Greek and Roman mythology alongside gods such as Zeus. The documents our researchers at The History Bluff have obtained do reveal though that his lyre concerts were some of the most well-attended events of the era. Songs like, “In the Ghetto,” “All Shook Up,” and “Blue Suede Toga” drove the massive crowds into a wild delirium. Stunning vocals often faded into complex solo lyre riffs by Apollo and were sometimes accompanied by his good friend Pan on the flute.

Success and wealth summed up Apollo’s life. He was given starring roles in low-budget plays that did well only because he was the featured player. As he grew older, his popularity waned. He became fat and wore gaudy, bejeweled fig leaves; he was losing his fan base quickly. After a three-year hiatus, Apollo took to the stage again in his ‘Comeback Special’ – a live performance of his greatest hits. He soon topped the charts once again and enjoyed a renewed popularity. By this time, however, his friends and family were beginning to notice changes in his behavior and health. He was hopelessly addicted to hemlock.

Apollo's smooth, rolling, and irresistibly provocative lyre music was unrivaled, even by Pan the Flute Man.

Historians are unsure of the date but many accounts confirm that Apollo was found unresponsive on the floor of the public bath he frequented. His addiction to hemlock had gone too far and the greatest musician in Greek history – and mythology – was gone.